How Do We Explain Our Sadness?

November 10, 2016

Brandi Davis of Child & Family Coaching spent yesterday trying to help the parents of her preschool kids process their feelings about the election results and how to guide their kids through as well. Afterwards, she put pen to paper to sum up some of her thoughts. 


I am writing this not really sure where I will end up. Like many of you I am confused, worried, disappointed and yes, sad. I will be honest and blunt to start: this post is not for the Trump supporters, this is for the rest of us. The ones that thought this would be the time, that this would be the moment, the moment that we could see a strong woman in the ultimate position in our government. But it’s not just that. We wanted, needed to see this man full of immaturity and hate, this person with no impulse control or tact or grace, this human for whom many of us makes our stomachs. We needed the “BIG GUY” to fall. We have watched him lie and cover his A$$ by simply saying, “I have heard” or “People are saying”. No facts, just stoking of fires. So what do we do now?

Many of my friends woke up with tears in their eyes trying to think of ways to express their disappointment. How do they tell their kids whom they have brought into this process because they really did not believe this reality star could win. I have read posts and blogs about “what do we tell our girls,” but it is not just our girls, it is our boys as well. We need them to know that Trump’s behavior is not one to aspire to, that a girl can be president, that she can lead. So what do we do now?

Talk about your disappointment. Why are you sad? What were you hoping for and why? Talk about Hillary’s grace as she conceded, and remind them that she is still a role model. Watch for teachable moments. Be careful as you speak about your fears. Adults are able to cope and move forward, kids hear fear and hold on to it, especially when the adults in their lives are afraid. Talk to your children about how you will keep Obama’s and Hillary’s message alive. Tell them that it is not only one person who will change this nation, and that we can keep the light shining. None of us knows what things will look like as we move into 2017. We will have to walk that path together and tackle it as it comes. Continue to teach our children that even though life can bring great disappointment we must move forward with love, positivity, intelligence and inclusiveness. We will not let others dictate what we do with our bodies, our hearts and our homes. We will fight if they try to block our paths to health care and healthy bodies. We won’t stand as unkind words spring forth. We will lead by example; we will point out injustice if it comes our way, and we will teach our children that no, we cannot always win, sometimes the bully does land on top—but that does not mean that we leave him there unchallenged.

So. What do we do now? Now, we express our feelings, tell our kids how we will move forward and spread love and positivity. Now we will listen closely and use moments of negativity to teach our children that mean words are not acceptable, that when you hear someone using them, you should step in. The bully may have won but we are all still here, our children are still here, our compassion is still here, our fire is still here. Now let’s show this person who will lead the country that he may have won the office but he will NOT win our country. Now, Let’s show our children what we can do together. Love trumps hate, even today.


Brandi Davis, ACC, is a certified Parenting Coach, Parent Educator, and Author of O.K. I’m A Parent Now What? The goal of Brandi’s practice is to bring respect, calm communication, teamwork, and FUN into the home or classroom. Brandi was named Best Modern-Day Parenting Guru in Philadelphia Magazine’s Best of 2016 Issue. To discover all that Child and Family Coaching can bring to your family stop by www.childandfamilycoaching.com.